it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
