I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
ttyl tear gas
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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