just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
His nipple licking is glorious
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
