Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
