Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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