i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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