Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
