Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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