Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
