I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
