i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
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