yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
