I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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