Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
