So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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