I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize