Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize