ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
