My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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