To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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