I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
