my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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