I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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