If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
