that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
