when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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