:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
