So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize