so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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