my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
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ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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