Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
