He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
