He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
