I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
