I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
