It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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