everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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