i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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