Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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