so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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