"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
