Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
