is wine microwaveable?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
