I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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