no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
