tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?