this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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