I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.