chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.