dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression