I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
