Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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