What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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