KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
