so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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