You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
