I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
