I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
