Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
