Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
