I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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