I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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